Here I am, master of my destiny, compact, athletic, taking in nourishing meals at one end and disposing of the residue in a fashion both orderly and useful at the other.  Only those who have experienced it can appreciate the pleasure of sensing food slithering around one’s entire being, on the outside a well as the inside.  Could any existence be more perfect?

There is this minor inconvenience that I am blind, deaf and dumb.  I do, though, have a sense of taste, and who needs to see, hear or speak when he has only to open his mouth for it to be filled, instantly and miraculously, with a good helping of very acceptable earth?  What, moreover, could any sensible worm wish to see, hear or talk about in this dark paradise, which by the application of the strictest logic can be deduced only to have been created by a loving God – a sort of super-worm – quite specifically for the benefit of the chosen?

You may well wonder ‘what is the point of it all?’, and I would initially reply:  ‘Does there need to be a point?  

Is it not sufficient to accept that C’est comme ça, as my French cousins might in different circumstances have expressed themselves, that the only point which matters is the rounded extremity of my fore-lip preceding my mouth in the performance of its ceaseless task on my behalf?

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